Hey, I’m Aunt Julie, AJ for short. I have started this blog, this offering of advice, to let you know you’re not alone with what you are feeling. Taboo topics are so-called because, for some reason or another, they make people feel uncomfortable, and thus, we must shush our mouths and suffer in silence. And you know what, I’m here to say I’ve just about had enough of that.
So I have decided to make a stand and start talking about everything that is deemed taboo, uncomfortable and perhaps even indecent because you know what - IT IS ALL NORMAL. We deserve to be seen and held when we are going through a difficult time.
This month, I want to talk about seasonal depression, something I know for a fact affects many people in the UK, even if the stats vary. Now we all know the saying ‘Don’t be a Debbie Downer’ as people will often tell us to cheer up, ‘it’s not that bad’ without wanting to get into the reasons behind your sadness - perhaps due to the fear that they won’t know what to say or simply because they don’t have the emotional capacity to sit down and talk with you.
Winter Darkness
Winter in the UK stretches anywhere from early October to late March and shrouds us residents in a whirl of cold mist, driving rain and saying goodbye to the sun for the best part of six months. Longer nights and harsher conditions mean that we turn to hibernation and enjoy comfort foods like every kind of potato available and lots of hot chocolate.
But while watching telly, and nibbling away might make us feel good in the short term, there are a lot of side effects of isolating ourselves like this.
Seasonal depression or SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is marked by the change in daylight hours and causes the afflicted to feel a sense of emptiness, loss of interest, and fatigue, along with other common depression symptoms.
Pairing this with a feeling of overwhelming expectations to show up for events, make the perfect Christmas and financial burdens that come with the season, it is no wonder so many people find winter incredibly hard.
The stark contrast between the summer months - where daylight reigns for 16 hours, and we fill our time with picnics in the park, meadow walks and beach trips - it’s not surprising we feel a bit lost when we are struggling push 8 hours in mid winter, coupled with biting cold and trees that shiver as much as we do.
Setting Boundaries With Yourself
I know - trust me - setting boundaries with yourself can be extremely challenging, especially if you have an addictive personality, low motivation, overwhelm, or you throw in an energy-sucking monster that is known as depression.
But here is the catch: while it is easier not to do anything about our problematic habits, it is important to gently challenge ourselves every now and then and reap the rewards of having achieved a goal, as much as we may want to resist it.
During hibernation season, there are a number of things that can become engrossing that we sometimes let slip a touch too far:
Screen time
Spending three or four hours a day on screens for leisure.
Try setting a time limit on your apps or limiting the number of episodes you watch in a day. Listen to music, podcasts or the radio if you need audio stimulation while doing chores or hobbies—but be mindful not to let it become a numbing tool. Allow space to feel your emotions and thoughts when you can.
Eating habits
Not eating balanced meals.
Try cooking big batch meals and storing leftovers in the freezer for quick, homemade food when your energy is low. Eating a variety of foods (“eating the rainbow”) helps support overall health. Prioritise a mixed diet of grains, veggies, fruits and proteins. If you have ever struggled with eating, give yourself some credit for taking the time to nurture yourself from the inside out; it means you are already making progress.
Morning rituals
Forgetting morning rituals and slow starts.
It can be extremely hard to get out of bed when it is still dark and cold outside. To allow yourself time to connect with your body before the rush, try and set aside five minutes in the morning before reaching for your phone or running out of the door. Journaling, yoga, meditation or the quiet enjoyment of a cup of tea allows you time to feel a sense of achievement, structure and help you maintain motivation throughout the day.
Outdoor time
Not getting outside because it’s cold and wet.
To start with, set yourself a 10‑minute outdoor goal. This could be taking the long way home after walking the kids to school, pottering in the garden, or enjoying your first tea of the day wrapped up warmly outside. Try leaving headphones and phones behind and observe the world around you—notice how it changes day by day.
If it’s raining, wrap up warm and wear a raincoat. If you don’t have one, I don’t know what to tell you.
Social commitments
Avoiding social gatherings—or overcommitting.
If you’re a chronic date‑canceller, it may help to commit to fewer plans and be honest with yourself and others about your capacity. Allow yourself time to rest, breathe, and tend to the small, grounding things that keep you going.
If you tend to avoid socialising altogether, consider gently challenging yourself to attend one gathering every couple of weeks—or whatever feels manageable. Community can be a powerful reminder that we’re not alone.
Bringing Sunshine Back Into Your Life
Throughout these months, it becomes ever more important to get outside and literally let the sunshine permeate your mind and body. Vitamin D (which the sun helps our bodies to make for free) helps keep our body and mind functioning properly by building healthy bones to brain function. Many people find that also taking supplementary top ups of Vitamin D and using magnesium helps to increase mood and improve quality sleep.
Reconnecting with nature has clear benefits, from helping reduce stress and anxiety, encourage gentle movement, to observing the seasonal changes and slow pace of our natural environment. Nature is always there to hold us up when we are feeling down.
Along with this, expanding horizons through community with like-minded people can be a powerful tool. Whether it’s through activities or initiatives, music events, craft clubs, dance classes, morning yoga, or literally anything that leaves you feeling restored. Remember, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink - so be kind to yourself if motivation comes slowly.
While vitamins, mental health walks and community are starting points, if symptoms are severe and persistent, it is important to seek advice from a doctor, licensed practitioner or reach out to a trained support network such as Mind Mental Health Charity or Shout Hotline
Remember Compassion
Of course, mental health is not always linear progress. Anyone who has whitenessed or experienced depression will know that there are days or even weeks that you feel like life is getting back on track; you have more energy, more excitement, more smiles and then there are times that it feels like a tidal wave is holding you under and all you can do is hide away and try to make it through.
It is important to recognise this. Allow yourself to feel during both of these periods. But most importantly of all, it is important that you don’t stop making plans for your future - whether that is two days away, or two months; know that one day you will wake up and the groggy, suffocating feeling just won’t be there anymore, and the veil of sadness will have lifted.
So next time you feel like hunkering down, burying yourself in blankets and avoiding the world after 4PM, ask yourself with compassion, not judgment: is this rest something I need right now, or is it simply the easier option today?
With bountiful boldness, Aunt Julie x
